In Friendship we Trust...

Well, I promised I would continue where I left off last time. I know a lot of people have been asking me for details about the last post but I would like to keep my relationship as private as possible out of respect for my boi and out of maturity. Now, I would like to go on to the second topic at hand: best friends. Now I'm going to relate a situation that I experienced and I'm going to try to be as impartial and remove my feeling from this as much as possible.
Now, I'm going through this whole phase where I'm attempting to save a lot as I'm preparing to leave college and I would like make a good start on my own. Now, my best friend of about 3.5 years who is also the first gay person I ever met in this country needed some help with his bills. I'm not in a position to help someone out but I was this time so I did. I loaned him some money. I made the sacrifice to lend him the money contingent that he would pay me back the following Friday. Now I didn't even suggest this date, he did. I called him that Friday when it was due and he said he was at his b/f's house. So I forget about it and I allow him some time. Here's where the problem occurs. I call homeboi a few times the following week. Not because I really needed the money but I'm trying to get as financially stable as possible for the future. When I have to step out in the real world and I have to pay my own bills I want to have something to fall back on. However, homeboi basically avoids my calls and doesn't respond to my IMs, signs on then quickly signs off, etc. So I realize that he's avoiding because we talk at least once per week. I decided to call him on my work phone number (which he doesn't have). Bingo! Homeboi answers the phone.

Me: How you been?
Best F.: I'm ok.
Me: What are you doin, what have you been up to?
Best F.: I'm chilling here at my friends house.
Me; Hey listen do you think you'll be able to pay be back today?
Best: F.: Yea sure.
Me: We'll do you want to meet after work at McDonald's?
Best F.: Yea I can do that.
Me: Call me when you get there.
Best F.: Ok.

We'll needless to say, homeboi stood me up and would not answer his phone after I called several times. This was the second time in about 1 week he did this. After this he still would not answer his phone and now doesn't even answer from my work phone. By then I had confirmed all my suspicions. My thing is, I'm not a materialistic person so I didn't care about the money. However, he really disappointed me by lying to me several times and showed a lot of disrespect by standing me up and letting me waste my time more than once. If I was really super broke I wouldn't not have been able to get get to work or pay my phone bill or anything and usually this is the case. However, I felt really hurt to know that he didn't respect me enough to tell me the truth. Honestly all I wanted was: a simple "I don't have to money right now but I'll pay you back as soon as I can."
Later on I sent him a text message explaining to him about how disappointed and upset I was that he was dishonest with me. He apologized and I found out that he was really having some personal and financial problems and needed to take care of them. Now I have no problem. I came from a poor family and I'm fighting tooth and nail to make my way up, I know what it's like to struggle and I've been on my own since the beginning. My best friend being dishonest with me didn't not help. I keep certain people by me because I can trust them, he is one. I still love him very much and I want him to get on his life together very much. Just wish he had been real with me.

My Friends have no idea how dearly I love them,
A Forgiving Special K

Just Like Me...

So this one is entitled just like me. I know I left you all for a while and I didn't seem like I was going to return. However, I returned for the true, loyal friends and readership that I have accumulated and are still hear. I still feel very grateful for everyone in my life and I see a very happy future ahead for me. So I've been spending a lot of time with my boi and things have been going well. Now I go into relationships expecting to approach some difficult question or time. I know everyone is not perfect including myself. However, this weekend I found out something about my boi that I really wasn't expecting. I mean he really didn't seem like the type so he caught me really off-guard. I was doing some work on his computer and I came across some documents that really hit me hard. It wasn't really what was on there that got to me but the extent of it. It really made me think whether I really knew this person or not. I'm usually a good judge or character and often I know things before people tell me but I didn't see this one coming. When I saw this I didn't know how to react it mostly brought shock and a question as to why it was there. The first thing we seem to do is judge the person but i forced myself to find to best way out. It just goes to show that as soon as you got things all figured out life shows that you can be extremely clueless. I mean it really wasn't as serious as the last long-term who turned out to be a one-hit pornstar wonder (if there is such a thing) but I ended up with him because he told me on our second date and didn't lie like so many others would have. It seems that people have been asking me to question my perception of them a lot lately. This is the second incident where a close person did something that was unexpected of them but I'll leave that for another post which I will be writing soon. So why did I name this post "Just Like Me?". That's because I've always tried to find someone who was just like me but that never seems to come through 100%.
So what do you do when the one you love shows you a different side of them that you didn't expect? Do you accept them or change them?

It feels good to be back,
Special K