Do I have to Tell a Nigga How to be a Nigga - Part One

Do I have to tell a nigga how to touch me?
Do I have to tell a nigga how to hold me?
Do I have to tell a nigga when to call me?
Do I have to tell a nigga I'm lonely?
Do I have to feel wrong,
when it ain't strong?
keep my mouth closed?
Can't a nigga from the hood find a homie,
that ain't just tryna hang around me?
Do I have to show a nigga I'm a nigga?
Do I have to apologize for my emotions?
Do I have to tell a nigga what to say to me,
every time he wanna get next to me?
(have fun trying to figure out who the singer is)


This blog entry has been along time in coming but its about time that I write it. Over the year's I've developed unique definition of what man should be. From obvious experience alot of men have a particular problem understanding what ids required of them as men (I'm not just referring to gay men). Today imma take the time to skool 'em.

The funny thing is you should have to tell a nigga how to be a nigger (hope no one is offended by the language) because being a nigga should be innate. Over the past few years I've been approached my so many men all interested in getting a piece of my cherry pie (that has to he be most cunt thing I ever said)..lol..but for real...the dudes on bgc, adam and many other sites have a tendency to ask for a man but not offer a man in return....alot of these "men" are still learning the ropes. Everyone knows the question that usually gets asked somewhere along the line. So what are you looking for? Imma put this out there now that i started back dating and imma state it once and for all so peeps don't have to ask me again.

I'm looking for man, not necessarily a nigga. A real man....not a slightly feminine, I got a log between my legs dude...trying to fit in with the crowd...who are really little weak teenagers who refuse to accept the responsibilities of manhood. Alot of men lack these qualities even the masculine ones. They don't know what it is to be a real man. A real man takes initiative and goes out and gets what he wants. He pursues something until he realises he can't have it. Rejection doesn't make him less of a man, it makes respect the fact that he had the courage to do it.

In a male-male relationship men have to realise that they still have an obligation to exist as men and not half-step things as though they are a female. A gay relationship is nothing more than a deep friendship between two men that want to take things to the next level. To many times men (I use the word men sparingly) use homosexual relationships as a subconscious excuse to relieve themselves of their natural responsibilities. To be frank we use it to act like girls. This defeats the purpose since the point of dating men is do to DATE MEN.

Many gay men are in the midst of gender identity crisis and don't even know it. They think that they are suppose to be courted and sweat off there feet by some dude..NOOOOOO..that not going to happen..a real dude takes the initiative and a real man gives an equal and honest response. That's basic communication. Too many times I hear "So when you gonna take me out?" or "When am I going to see you?"..pointers: when you you see someone you should set up the date not ask them to set it up. Isn't that Commons sense? Correct me if I'm wrong. Setting it up shows hat you have some type of confidence in yourself. Even if the dude is not feeling you like that he will respect you and possibly give you chance and points for being a man. I don't want to keep this too long but there is alot I wanna talk to brothers about. We have gotten to the point where manliness is not manliness any more. Men refer themselves as females, they use female words to describe their body parts and worst of all refer to themselves as either a "husband" or "wife" in a relationship. I mean REALLY people? Is this what's going on today. Don't get me wrong. A dude can be feminine and still be a man. Manliness is defined by strength or mind, character and independence not by how discreet you are in a crowd of straight men. Wake up smell the testosterone!!!

LOOK OUT FOR PART 2

Season of Friendship

Wow..2007 is actually turning out to be a pretty good year as expected..I mean even in January such great things are happening already. I mean even today on Sunday Jan. 28th three important people have shown their significance in my life. I'll present the 2 scenarios and go into a bit of detail about my definition friendship which has developed to be extremely unique during the past years.


Names and places have been changed to protect the privacy of each individual:


Scenario 1:

I was chillin with one of my frat. brothers today. We normally hang out a lot and I been putting him on a steady gym routine because he's trynna get right. I also helped him get an extra job on campus. So over a short period of time we've become good friends the funny thing is I never really noticed until he said something today.

So he's joking around with me on some other shyt so I'm finally like nah, step back you on probation. Seeing that I'm a lil mad he says "aww... you want a hung?" I'm like "don't touch me!!!", so he gets the idea and now he feels in lil bad. So he says "aww, you know you my best friend" am I'm like "nah you on the 10-step program now" (which means you probably gonna have to work hard to regain my friendship). Well he is currently still on that 10 step program so I'll see how he does this week. But about a lil while later I thought about it. That was a really nice thing for him to say, I really didn't think I was that important to him..t shows that we may mean much more to people than people think. He talks about me all the time to his family and girlfriend and we also have been hanging out a lot. It felt good to know that he appreciated my friendship so much.

Scenario 3:

Buddy 3: I wanted you to know this. I had this dream I died and you were in it. I really appreciate you being my friend.
Buddy 3: Just want you to know that.
Dwight Lara: oh i felt that
Dwight Lara: aww...i feel SO special
Buddy 3: I really do. I know I say this but I really thought about it and you mean sooooooo much to me.
Buddy 3: Even when you get me a lil mad
Dwight Lara: lol
Dwight Lara: that's kool
Dwight Lara: I'm glad to know that
Buddy 3: My dream was that I died and I never got to say the things I always wanted to say
Buddy 3: to you
Buddy 3: and what not
Buddy 3: The funny thing you were the only one in my dream
Buddy 3: No one else
Dwight Lara: damn
Dwight Lara: that's crazy
Buddy 3: Isn't it.
Buddy 3: It was just so weird. I woke thinking what the hell. I think I've told you pretty much all that I needed to tell you.
Dwight Lara: lol

All of this is significant to me because 2.5 years ago when I just moved to the NYC area, I had no friends. Now exactly what I wanted has been granted to me. Its good to know that so many years of picking and choosing buddies has paid off. The thing is I would do just as much and even more for my friends than they do for me. Most of them don't know how valuable they. I always wanted best friends, now I have several of them. Its a shame they may never really know what my love for them means.


A very happy Special K