Well, I promised I would continue where I left off last time. I know a lot of people have been asking me for details about the last post but I would like to keep my relationship as private as possible out of respect for my boi and out of maturity. Now, I would like to go on to the second topic at hand: best friends. Now I'm going to relate a situation that I experienced and I'm going to try to be as impartial and remove my feeling from this as much as possible.
Now, I'm going through this whole phase where I'm attempting to save a lot as I'm preparing to leave college and I would like make a good start on my own. Now, my best friend of about 3.5 years who is also the first gay person I ever met in this country needed some help with his bills. I'm not in a position to help someone out but I was this time so I did. I loaned him some money. I made the sacrifice to lend him the money contingent that he would pay me back the following Friday. Now I didn't even suggest this date, he did. I called him that Friday when it was due and he said he was at his b/f's house. So I forget about it and I allow him some time. Here's where the problem occurs. I call homeboi a few times the following week. Not because I really needed the money but I'm trying to get as financially stable as possible for the future. When I have to step out in the real world and I have to pay my own bills I want to have something to fall back on. However, homeboi basically avoids my calls and doesn't respond to my IMs, signs on then quickly signs off, etc. So I realize that he's avoiding because we talk at least once per week. I decided to call him on my work phone number (which he doesn't have). Bingo! Homeboi answers the phone.
Me: How you been?
Best F.: I'm ok.
Me: What are you doin, what have you been up to?
Best F.: I'm chilling here at my friends house.
Me; Hey listen do you think you'll be able to pay be back today?
Best: F.: Yea sure.
Me: We'll do you want to meet after work at McDonald's?
Best F.: Yea I can do that.
Me: Call me when you get there.
Best F.: Ok.
We'll needless to say, homeboi stood me up and would not answer his phone after I called several times. This was the second time in about 1 week he did this. After this he still would not answer his phone and now doesn't even answer from my work phone. By then I had confirmed all my suspicions. My thing is, I'm not a materialistic person so I didn't care about the money. However, he really disappointed me by lying to me several times and showed a lot of disrespect by standing me up and letting me waste my time more than once. If I was really super broke I wouldn't not have been able to get get to work or pay my phone bill or anything and usually this is the case. However, I felt really hurt to know that he didn't respect me enough to tell me the truth. Honestly all I wanted was: a simple "I don't have to money right now but I'll pay you back as soon as I can."
Later on I sent him a text message explaining to him about how disappointed and upset I was that he was dishonest with me. He apologized and I found out that he was really having some personal and financial problems and needed to take care of them. Now I have no problem. I came from a poor family and I'm fighting tooth and nail to make my way up, I know what it's like to struggle and I've been on my own since the beginning. My best friend being dishonest with me didn't not help. I keep certain people by me because I can trust them, he is one. I still love him very much and I want him to get on his life together very much. Just wish he had been real with me.
My Friends have no idea how dearly I love them,
A Forgiving Special K
16 comments:
oh yeah..I heard it before and I know what it is...well today you should reconsider your notion of "best friend" maybe he should loose the "best" and just become a simple friend...because best friends are "best" not because u know them for a long time...but just because u know THAT friend in particular will be there when you know things ain't right....U know it's just like that Quality over Quantity story...
much luv mr serial blogger..keep it up.
TAG! YOU'RE IT!
Check the rules of the game on my post
http://newnegrogroove.blogspot.com/2007/10/tag-blogger-edition-what-happened-to.html
Ummmmmmm yea you need to drop the 'Best'. That was some foul shyt baby boy.
~Damnit!
Looks like everyone seems to be in agreement with Kim. Yes you should drop the "Best" part and maybe change it to "Good" friend. I have been in this exact same situation. Unfortunately for me some of the people I loaned money to have never responded to me at all. Now we are no longer friends at all.
The best advice I was ever given is "Don't loan any money!" Even if you have it. However, if you do have it an you don't mind giving it away then do that. Now I don't know about you but I don't have a lot of friends that I would just give money to, but that would depend on the amount they need. The best thing to do is tell them you don't have it to loan. Even if you do. Let them go to their family and get it. Most of the time people need the money because of them being irresponsible. So why should you take on the role as their sugar daddy.
Yeah..been there , done that...:-) The few times I've borrowed money, I usually resign myself to the fact that I probably won't see it again.
If there's one lesson I've learned in life, its that money and friends don't mix. I avoid mixing the two like the plague. I don't discuss money with friends, I don't loan money to friends. It's just not a good thing.
As for this tacky ass 'friend'. just chalk it up as a lesson learned. If I were you (and depending on how much money is involved), I wouldn't even worry about it. He knows what he owes. If he were a quality person, you wouldn't hace even had to ask for that money back. He would've given it back.
oh boy. when money comes into question the quality of friend is revealed. Sadly you may ind you have more close associates than actual friends.
You need to check your friend, but also forgive but don't forget.
Don't allow yourself to be takin for granted by any of your friends no matter who they are.
Folks need to learn to communicate, because I don't care what a person may be going thru, if they borrowed anything from me, they need to communicate why and what's going on with them, I don't have time for charades, just spit it out.
well since he is your best friend.. u can swing the baseball bat just a bit slower when u go to collect the cash tight?
Ughhh :-(...... friends an money. The worst combination. Wen someone borrows money from me an procrastinates about paying it back. I get very annoyed an also violent. Lol yea lose the best friend title he's unworthy of it rite at this point. He was wrong for agreeing to meet u an stood u up. WTF.... Then avoidn phone calls hell NOOOOOoooooo! You good I jus went through the same thing with my alledged best friend. That took some harsh exchange of words, but I got my dam money back. Which was over $100 borrowed. I'm already a fan of your blog. Adding u to my list
Awww I am sorry that your friend did this to you. See, I am a very giving person. I hate to see my friends struggle and not have, when I sometimes have an abundance of (no, im not rich but spoiled). So I often lend out money. I am the type of person who wont ask for it back though. I look at it like , you know you owe me money, I should not have to hunt you down for it. As a man, I wouldnt want any debt hanging over my head, especially to a friend. I personally would never NOT pay back a freind without an explanation because you do not want to burn bridges and you never know when you may need to borrow again. But to avoid something like this again, my mother always said to me, "dont loan what you cant afford to lose".
i know exactly how it feels...
that " why did you have to go and do that ??? i freakin loved and trusted u man !! now i don't know... " feeling
New reader to your blog... I like it so far... Just skimmed the last post and I noticed you are using my favorite phone for the moment, The T-Mobile Dash! Great Phone!
Well I guess I may as well tag you, seeing as though you have already been tagged!
http://canuimagineme.blogspot.com/2007/11/tag-blogger-edition-what-happened-to.html
thanks for coming through and reading my blog, dude. i appreciate it.
get at me man. what frat?
New post Dammit! lol.
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