This posts is one that comes from "the deep inside." The deep insinde is a place that I don't let out very often, the place that is ephemeral, a place which is undefined but but exactly you. The palce that no one but only a few really understand. It's esoteric becuase it doesn't make sense, at least not to the larger public but it still exists; it is part of us that draws on us, when you least expect it and even when you don't want it.
This posts relates to what I've been experiencing through friends indirectly for the past few months. Now those feelings have something to draw on, where I can somewhat relate, but relate from the opposite prospective. I know this is probably going to be an over-the-top post but here goes. Singluar or Plural.
My struggle these days is exactly this; which is better, singular or plural? At one point in time I was part of the singlar, longing for the plural, but now I'm in plural wondering about the nature of the singular. I feel a bit uneasy, not clear in thought, but it crosses my mind ever so often.
Plain talk, my friends or best friend I should say always complains to me about being single. I have kind of lost my grounding on that subject because quiet frankly, I don't really remember what it was like and I find it hard to relate. I keep telling them that things aren't that bad, that things will get better and that being in that singular state is not the end of the world, but a means to a beginning. A means to start another story which may take some time but at the end of the day, if the novel is written correctly, it will be worth it. Not incomplete or hurried but a master piece that evokes all the senses. It will provoke the feelings that we want it to provoke. A feeling not rushed even though greatly desired. But at the same time, I feel extremely juvenile, like I'm not seeing the grand picture.
Well today,it crossed my mind...what is it like on the other side, is the grass greener in some ways? Is it better, would I be better off? Help me out here, what are the pros and the cons, the good and the bad, the benefits and the sacrifices.
Deep in, deep in thought,
Special K
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4 comments:
The pros of being single include the freedom, spontaniety, and independance. The pros of the plurul is sharing many moments in one's life, having a partner to chill with, and the added sexual benefit.
The cons of the the singilar is you never have the one to hold you when you need it. shoulder to cry on and an outlet for sexual pleasure. Being the third wheen when friends go out and the absense of LOVE.
I miss qualities no matter which side of the fence I am on...
Personally I see singlehood as a nessecary evil. Lonely nights wishing there was someone to hold you or for you to hold, moments when you just want affection for no reason at all. However, it becomes a part of life and love. It is a period for self growth, a time when you can get your house in order so another person can enjoy, share and grow with you.
Relationships for me should be an extension of singlehood. There should be time when I'm allowed to be alone to reflect on who I am, but during the plurual phase I also have someone to share completely with. Share the wonders of my discovery and growth. The cons of the plural phase is their is another person that is affected by the decisions you make. Every decision becomes a decision of how it affects the others and not just myself. Some of us believe some decisions are personal and our no consequence to our partner, but I'm a believer that ALL decisions effect the other party thus their feelings should be taken into account.
I'm currently looking to get back in a relationship but I'm not rushing nor am I stressed over it. It will happen and I'll be ready for the plural phase
Very well written. Hope you don't mind the random comment.. Just passing through and recently being on both sides, felt like commenting. I don't believe there is a correct side to be on. They both have the good moments and the bad. I think that being single is a time to reflect and a good time for growth. Everyone's soul needs it at some point. Sure, it sucks sometimes, but in the end the growth that comes out of it is worth it. The next person to come along is that much more lucky to have you. I am recently single, and in no hurry to jump back into the plural side... It will happen when it's time.
An interesting question that was not addressed in your post is what if you feel alone even when you're in a relationship... I think of the two sides, that is by far the worst place to be in. Food for thought. You do the dishes...
~Damnit!
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