My Imaginary Best Friend...

I thought about you the other day and I wondered why..I wondered why….while we haven’t spoken and I have no desire to ever speak…there is so much that I should say…there is so much that I know…so much I can tell ...so many words that exists…that I’m able to speak…I want to talk..to say..to type..to tell…I have no desire to speak …I shouldn’t…I recall the days when…what we thought was f****dship existed…just something a bit innocent…just easy going…no motives..no instigation..a bit of faultlessness…a true f****dship…..but you kept changing it..you kept changing it..even though my desire was nothing more than casual…to avoid the headaches..the heart aches…the disappointment the pain…the refusal..the strain…I gave it up to avoid the pain…because I became a better man…stronger…more in touch…never to believe something semi-consciously created …or wanted myself to believe…a world of illusions and fallacy..i gave it up because I created something that would never be…and wasn’t suppose to be, the forbidden words: *** and **…I knew the answers way back then…In reality it was no surprise how it reached its end…its reality ..I can see it...i new it from the beginning...believe it or not..I told you…I knew the desire made its end…so I’m grown now..i’ve spilt my soup..right on queue…its funny cuz...i didn’t believe I knew you…but carry on man..time does pass…for me I know my desire for the imaginary will last….Its reality ..it truth…its love.. a man does what he must… this sort of thing is written in the stars above…even though there are no more than dust..therein remains the irony…an illusion of beautiful ….but to you my imaginary f***d…I know the story had reached its end…recollection of images created…illusion of a long time best friend….